As for September, we should all be getting used to the changes by now: new school, classroom, teacher, friends, teams, ect. Back to school nights are full steam ahead and we are already looking to the winter holidays, which are exactly three months away. Some of us make these adjustments smoothly and others...not so much. If you, your child, or someone you know is less-than-thrilled to be back in the saddle, here are a few helpful tips my clients have found helpful when they expressed nervousness & anxiety with new social situations...
BACK TO SCHOOL WOES :(
Prepare yourself/your child each night for the next day by having an open discussion about the perceived challenges. Keep it light-hearted and positive. Discussions should be relaxed & during an easy time of day. For example, choose the dinner table, bath time, or before bed time. The goal is to choose a calm, stress-free time of day to briefly communicate the events & opportunities that the next day will bring. If you're nervous about a college exam or how your child will handle a new lunch hour, take this time to think clearly, free from distraction, in order for you to deduce: 1. the details of the upcoming challenge, 2. possible situations that may occur during this situation (ie. Your child doesn't recognize any of her friends at this new lunch hour or your child sees a new group of friends she'd like to approach to join for lunch), and 3. potential outcomes, both positive and negative. Emphasis should be on how to confront the challenge & overcome scary scenarios while keeping the tone positive. Just because you're identifying possible negative situations does not mean you are thinking negatively. You're being realistic & exploring both sides of the fence.
Organization = Preparation. Its aways strangely exciting to me when I walk into Staples or Target to buy organizational materials like a new calendar or notebooks. I love the potential for total organization! Being organized (and keeping your organizer organized) eliminates the threat of being surprised, tardy and unprepared. Take a few moments on the same day each week to mark your calendar with your and your family's weekly appointments, special events, and deadlines. Your child will have increased confidence if they know what to expect each day. Keep your family calendar by the front door so it becomes a healthy habit to glance over at the day's events while you're rushing out the door. Also you can create reminders on the calendar of most cellular phones, attaching an alarm to the entry, if you wish. I have my kids weekly sports practices entered into my cell phone calendar so each Wednesday I receive a weekly reminder to be at gymnastics at 12:30pm or Saturday soccer practice at 8:30am. Keeping your calendar organized and within eye sight will ensure your child remembers those pesky small details like bringing lunch money on hot lunch days or permission slips for field trips.
He shoots...he SCORES! Goal-setting is one of the most important tenets to success. Ask yourself or your child, what do you what to get out of this? Identify any obstacles that may be present, such as nervousness or anxiety, being the new kid in an unfamiliar school, or shy personalities, for example. Have a few goals at hand. The more the merrier! Envisioning success is key to achieving your goals. Another tip for goal-setting with children, especially with young children, is to lay the foundation for success by leaving them tangible reminders. I like the idea of a special charm bracelet that holds symbols of achievement, a soccer ball, book, or diploma, for example. Invest in a few self-help books for kids or teens. Leave post-it notes with positive affirmations in their bathroom mirror, on the back of their bedroom door, or in their lunch box. He may roll his eyes but sometimes you just gotta fake it 'till you make it!
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