Halloween Horrors - Safety First

With Halloween creeping up our doorsteps, its important to consider discussing safety measures with our children.

I remember a few years back when I was working as a consultant for the State Parole Board the hustle and bustle around the parole offices this time of year regarding Halloween safety measures.  Sex offenders being supervised by parole (that is, convicted sex offenders who are living in the community) were given curfew restrictions on Halloween for the children's safety, as well as their own safety from vigilante justice.  Its a scary thought but the reality is that children will be walking up to the homes of anonymous people that on 364 days of the year they never will.  Where do the dangers lie?  How can we ensure our kids will have fun and be safe?  Consider this...

• If when you think of a sex offender you imagine a creepy looking stranger who dwells under bridges, waiting to grab an unsuspecting child who passes, you've seen way too many movies.  Its true that the overwhelming majority of sex offenders are not strangers to their victims.  Most offenders are related to their victims or hold a power of position over children familiar to them.  However, all dangerous offenders live in all types of neighborhoods and work in various professional fields.  We're talking men and women (though a tiny percentage) who maintain adult relationships, own a home, have long-term employment, have children, ect.  Map a route for trick-or-treating that you're familiar with and always accompany your child.  Go in groups, bring a charged cell phone and flashlight, and, you know what, go with your gut and stay away from the neighborhood creeps!  Don't verbalize these concerns, thereby starting possible rumors, just gently steer your kids away from the people that give you the willies.  For example, I would say to my kids, "Come over here!  Let's get the next house with the giant spiders!"  The last thing you want to do is label and stigmatize people, regardless of your perception of them.

• Online sex offender registries make available to the public information about certain sex offenders that are required to register as per Megan's Law.  If you read that carefully, you'll note one very important fact: only certain sex offenders are required to register.  Coding a sex offender's risk to re-offend is based on static and dynamic factors.  Static factors are those that do not change over time, such as age at first offense, number of known victims, or prior criminal history.  Dynamic factors are changeable factors, those that are amenable to intervention.  Employment, address, substance abuse, and relationship status are examples of factors.  This being said, Megan's Law registrants with Internet notification requirements are typically medium and high-risk offenders.  This leaves out a large group of "low risk"offenders who have managed to live under the radar (and in all types of neighborhoods).  You can check out the NJ State Police website for facts and public information on  registered sex offenders living in your region.  Remember, what you see is not necessarily what you get.  Sexual assault is one of the most largely under-prosecuted offenses because it is under-reported and with the magnitude of shame, fear, and embarrassment associated with sexual abuse, is it any wonder?

• Costumes offer anonymity and arousal material.  Halloween offers a lot more opportunity that usual for luring incidents to occur (there are more children on the street, there are distractions all around, adults are talking and not always paying close attention, ect.).  Make sure you know exactly what your child is wearing (snap a quick pic with your cell phone if you are not personally accompanying your child for trick-or-treating) and that you talk seriously with your child about staying close to the adult in charge. Be sure your child knows the route they will be on and send them off with a cell phone in case they need to reach you.  As for costumes, minimize your child's risk from victimization by ensuring the costume is age-appropriate.  I saw two pretty pre-teen girls today in the Halloween costume store purchasing overly-sexualized, suggestive costumes...from the children's section of the store.  I get it....teen aged girls are a tangled ball of raging hormones.  Many of these kids take the opportunity of Halloween to dress in a sexy costume that will attract a lot of attention.  I suggest talking to teenagers dressing in sexually suggestive costumes about the dangers of attracting grown-up attention and the messages that provocative costumes may send.

I don't think a parent can be protective and pro-active enough when it comes to sex abuse safety.  Consider these tips and, more importantly, do not over-burden your child with 'stranger danger' fear.  Being alert and taking safety precautions will ensure a happy, fun Halloween!

Bully Awareness Month - NJ Gang Conference TONIGHT

CLICK HERE: Gangs...Not Just A City Problem


A few years ago, I went to a training on adolescent gang violence conducted by Lt. Ed Torres of the State Commission of Investigation.  I worked in a medium security juvenile prison, the highest level of security for juvenile confinement in NJ.  It was a rough place to work, plain & simple.  Besides the overall stink inside the dingy, decrepit buildings I was a young woman in a sea of incarcerated adolescents with rap sheets three times longer than my fresh-out-of grad-school credentials. 
Some of these teenagers were in prison for rape, murder, armed robbery, arson, and assault; all very serious violent offenses. The gang rivalry, recruitment, and extortion going on inside the confines of this campus was almost uncontainable. Kids affiliated with certain gangs were divided and separated so to avoid breakout violence in dorms.

Anyway, I knew gangs were a major dilemma (if not THE major issue) for prison administrators and officers but what I learned in that seminar on that day simply shocked me to my core.  A map of New Jersey popped up on the screen Lt. Torres was presenting his Powerpoint slides on with red, blue, yellow, and black dots littering the entire map of New Jersey.  Very little was left of the outline of New Jersey.  The dots indicated active gang presence and not just by county....by municipality.  Newton, Clinton, Somerville, Old Bridge, Freehold, Ocean, Toms River, Allentown, all the way down into the Pine Barrons and South Jersey.  They are here, they are EVERYWHERE, and they go to school with your children. 

Do not be naive or foolish to think your town is not on that map. 

Lt. Ed Torres is hosting a seminar on the new gang presence in town TONIGHT, October 4th from 7-9pm at Somerville Middle School at 55 W Cliff St.  The Spanish-version is held at Franklin Middle School on Oct. 16th from 7-9pm in the Franklin Middle School at 415 Francis St. in the Somerset-section of Franklin.  This is something all middle school parents should attend.  Make the trip.